I wake to an empty room with the pain in my chest so palpable I feel as I must be having a heart attack...though I can't determine why I'm hurting like this, why this knotted ball of fear and pain is struggling to burst out of me.
Glancing over to the table beside me I see a white and blue pamphlet turned face down, a note in my mother's handwriting across the back says nothing but transfer and flight booked for Thursday, please don't fight this xo. And just like that, it all comes rushing back.
I jerk across to reach the dreaded thing so suddenly that the IV tube in my hand rips out, setting off a persistent beeping alarm. But I barely register this with a flicker of conscious thought, too intent on the paper I'm grabbing and turning over to reveal what I already knew; The Sanctuary. Time seems to freeze as I stare at the offending print, but just as suddenly it gets kicked into overdrive as mayhem breaks out, a nurse rushing in to reset my IV, my mother appearing at the doorway screaming things I can't understand as I taste bile and sick falls over the pristine sheets. As I slump back onto the pillow, covered in the contents of my stomach and a feeling of shame, slow tears making tracks down my face, I get a glimpse of a pale face peeping around the ward's door. I try to call out, but just like that, James is gone. Leaving me to wonder whether I imagined it or if he really just saw me in this state.
Glancing over to the table beside me I see a white and blue pamphlet turned face down, a note in my mother's handwriting across the back says nothing but transfer and flight booked for Thursday, please don't fight this xo. And just like that, it all comes rushing back.
I jerk across to reach the dreaded thing so suddenly that the IV tube in my hand rips out, setting off a persistent beeping alarm. But I barely register this with a flicker of conscious thought, too intent on the paper I'm grabbing and turning over to reveal what I already knew; The Sanctuary. Time seems to freeze as I stare at the offending print, but just as suddenly it gets kicked into overdrive as mayhem breaks out, a nurse rushing in to reset my IV, my mother appearing at the doorway screaming things I can't understand as I taste bile and sick falls over the pristine sheets. As I slump back onto the pillow, covered in the contents of my stomach and a feeling of shame, slow tears making tracks down my face, I get a glimpse of a pale face peeping around the ward's door. I try to call out, but just like that, James is gone. Leaving me to wonder whether I imagined it or if he really just saw me in this state.
1 comment:
Still love this! so happy to get an update
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