The last conscious thought to drift through my mind before I succumb to the stupor is how it's so easy to let go of myself mentally when I could never- even when she was irrevocably and irrefutably gone- release my grip on Ally.
It seems as if I swim through my subconscious, but perhaps I merely dream. Colours swim, and strange patterns emerge, like the ones I used to imagine existed in my head when I closed my eyes and rubbed the tightly closed lids. Fantastic lights and colours performing a silent show for my benefit. Memories float by me- evident in the glimpse of a face, or a fuzzy scene as if viewed through water. For a brief moment, I wonder if this is what my psyche looks like- but then I condemn it as some madness brought about by all the pain killers smothering my system. Strangely, I feel almost at peace, even as the usually torturous images of Ally flash through my muddled brain.
I wake scrambling, but immediately freeze when I note my surroundings. Struggling to slow my racing heart while at the same time inhaling as little of the clinical air as humanly possible.
RJxo
Sorry for the teeny update! I'm highly apologetic, yesterday was a bad day, and today was a busy day. I'll post more soon I promise. xxx
2 comments:
hey wonderful.
sorry for not checking sooner- havent had much internet time!!!
both update were great. loved them, you are such a skilled writer, so descriptive- I can actually picture my self being in the room with rose.
Hey ets,
thankyou for the lovely comment :). I'm glad you liked the updates, even though they were short haha. Don't apologise, you don't have to check! Hope you're ok xo
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